Death Pool Update July 18 2009

Good Afternoon Death Pool Friends and Family!

No update since June 20 and since then people have been dropping like flies!

And our top story today is. . . . . .

No, not who you think but Walter Cronkite! The most trusted man in America has died peacefully at 92. And he died of old age! No terminal illness penalty! Thanks Walter.

Uncle Walter started his broadcast career in 1936 and was one of the top American reporters during WWII (the Big One). He is most famous for his broadcast of the news of JFK's assassination. (sad) and also the landing of Apollo 11 on the moon (happy!) Here's a link to a video of the actual moon landing - enjoy!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_sWmD6NvMY





Ok, so on to the death of Michael Jackson. Yes, The Gloved One, Wacko Jacko, King of Pop, MJ, Pedo Pan, The Museum of Surgical Mishaps, Mr. I.M. Loopy Esq, Dr Weirdenstein, Frighty Whitey has died. Cause yet to be determined (yeah, right - none of us know what killed him). Toxicology not back yet but they found Propofol in his house. Yes, Propofol - WTF??? They use this stuff to put you out so they can shove an endotrachial tube down your throat during major surgeries! Some case of insomnia! So now he's really catching up on all that sleep he's been losing.



And really, don't be sad. He's not really gone as long as he's on the cover of People magazine and The National Enquirer for the next year. Did anyone check out the funeral? So here's a nice picture of the pallbearers. Ok, I am giggling just a bit.















So Barbi gets 50 points! Way to go! Going to be hard to catch her but there is still almost 6 months to go and death is out there!





Another picture of Michael looking as he did in life: like a wax figure. So I guess he was bald. Explains the wacky wigs. Has anyone looked at pictures of his last nose job? You can see the little implanted wires they use to hold the nose on - ewwwwwww













Ok, enough of Wacko Jacko and on to other notable deaths this month.

• Farrah Fawcett. Very sad - horrible way to go - apparently Ryan O'Neal was going to marry her as soon as she could actually say 'yes'. Way to go Ryan - tell a woman on death's door that if she can spit out the word 'yes' she can marry such a thoughtful, loving guy. Anyone else think maybe he just wasn't into commitment here?
  

Ok, a picture for all you guys:






yes, you do see a bit of nipple





No points for anyone - Carol's got her son. Close but no cigar.

• Ed McMahon - no points here either. Good old Ed. Didn't Donald Trump bail him out of his foreclosure. Gee - Donald did a nice thing? Probably billing Ed's estate now.

• Billy Mays! Yikes! Poor guy - heart disease got him. All that high pressure selling I guess. Someone go buy some Oxiclean in Billy's memory. (But not Mike Hosanna - he is banned from buying anything he sees on TV. Anyone want to help paint my walls with Mike's new paint tools?)

• Gale Storm. Come on Judes - you remember Gale Storm - My Little Margie. I don't remember of course, Judy is just that much older than I am. :)

• Steve McNair - what to say? Dumbass? yeah, that's it. Dumbass. Talk about God getting you for breaking the 10 commandments. Kind of severe though, God. Are You trying to send a message to other professional athletes? Hmmmm. We'll see.

• Harve Presnell - who the hell is Harve Presnell you say? He played Johnny Brown in "The Unsinkable Molly Brown"! And you all call yourselves Coloradans.

• Homer Delawie - American Architech. Just stuck this guy in here for Bob Hosanna

• Robert McNamara - architect of the Vietnam War for JFK and Johnson (ok, not a REAL architect)

• Karl Malden - Madeline doesn't know who Karl Malden is - oh, to be so young. You know, the American Express guy, he was on The Streets of San Francisco. Won an Academy Award. ok - here's a picture:

• Gordan Waller of Peter and Gordan fame (another one for Judy - she had their album! Ok, I listened too)

• Allen Klein - helped break up the Beatles. Way to go greedy asshole. John and Yoko liked him. Enough said - Yoko liked him.

• Lord and Lady Douchebag. Ok, not really the Douchebags. the Downes. Apparently they went to Switzerland to the assisted suicide clinic. He was old blind and deaf and she had two types of terminal cancer. Ok, sorry, but this is a blog about death!

• Zan Marolt - Bosnia-Herzegovinian actor. They have actors in Bosnia-Herzegovinia?? Who knew.

• Something weird going on in professional wrestling. Waldo Von Erich dies (Canadian pro wrestler) and then two Mexican professional wrestlers, Alberto and Alejandro Jimenez both 35 die of poisoning! Yes poisoning! Apparently they had just gone to their room with a couple of prostitutes. I wonder if the hookers turfed it up to Canada and got a hold of Waldo?? Hulkster - you'd better watch out! We know you like strippers - STAY AWAY FROM MEXICAN HOOKERS! Here's the link to the article: http://www.nowpublic.com/sports/alberto-and-alejandro-jimenez-mini-mexican-wrestlers-found-dead (see comments on Steve McNair above - more heavenly retribution?)

• Henry Allinigham - 113! He was the last WWI vet and was also the last surviving founding member of the Royal Air Force.

And last, but certainly not least, Oscar Mayer Jr died. Yes, that Oscar Mayer. Oscar was 95. Died choking on a hot dog. Haha. No really, died of something - old age? Coronary artery disease? Hypertension? Some kind of hot dog related disease.

Well I think that's enough death for this week. Stay tuned and keep those comments coming!