It's been a long time! Did you think we died?? Hahahahahaha. Death jokes are fun.
We're going back all the way to April - time just flies when you are living the dream. April wasn't a big month celebrity death-wise. There was a Cuban flautist named Efrain Loyola. Just threw this in here for Katie, Madeline and Carolyn. No word if he was related to the saint. Also there was Edward Edwards (yes, seriously his name - no imagination there mom and dad) who was a serial killer. He only killed five people - does that really qualify for serial killer? Maybe mini-serial killer? Serial killer light? And they weren't really random. I kind of just think he was a scumbag loser kind of killer. Cheated the death chamber by dying of 'natural' causes. Whatever, we've all heard what goes down in prison. Or at least have watched on cable television.
Sidney Lumet died - best known for directing Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon (ATTICA! ATTICA!) and Network (I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!) Look it up - great lines from great movies.
But getting to the biggest headline in deaths - OSAMA BIN LADIN! Just when everyone took him off their lists because they thought he was already dead! What can we say about him? The worst person on Earth died! (not to be confused with the WORST PLACE ON EARTH which is apparently our attic) And apparently living in relative splendor in Pakistan (yes, that is splendor for Pakistan) growing his own goats for food and all the sex he could stand with new wives. Attached here is our favorite picture of Osama enjoying some NFL football. We heard they found his Fantasy Football picks on the confiscated computers. The CIA has a hell of a league going for this year.
Also killed was Abu, (no, not Apu) his loyal courier, who evidently unknowingly outed where Osama was living the high life.
More deaths in May: Jeff Conaway. Cannot believe no one has him on their lists! The guy was a walking death pool all by himself. So here's a contrast in Before and After that we should all learn to live by: no more crack, booze and heroin. It makes you ugly even when you try to cover it up with professional make up. Who is this guy you say? He played Kenickie in Grease!! And he was in the TV show, Taxi. Apparently he just couldn't live with the fact that John Travolta actually became more popular and famous than he did through Scientology.
And Randy Savage died too! Heart attack! You'd think a professional wrestler would have been in terrific shape! Oh, yeah. Professional wrestler.
Harmon Killebrew also died - he was a real athlete. Hall of Fame baseball player. Aunt Judy has a funny story about him but we will let her tell that one (no he didn't have a girlfriend on the side).
Moving on to June - Marshall Dillon died! He was 88. Again, most of you non-baby boomers won't know who he is. Actually his name was James Arness and he played Marshall Dillon on the TV show Gunsmoke for twenty years!. Back in the day, writers could actually come up with plots every week for 9 months a year over twenty years! James was the brother of Peter Graves, best known for playing the perv pilot in the movie, Airplane!.
Also dead in June was Shrek! Haha - totally got your attention with that one. No, not the cartoon Shrek who is not even a real live person, ogre, whatever. Shrek the celebrity sheep in New Zealand. Now we all know how Kiwis are kind of desparate for celebrities there. I mean, after Peter Jackson what have they got there? A picture of Shrek in tribute to sheep stardom. Kind of think Shrek is ugly. At the least needs a shave - but he's a star of a movie! WTF!
Tired of death already? We've got July and August to go -
Betty Ford died - a few of us had old Betty on our lists. Good for us. She was 93 but looked 110. Betty was actually a very admirable woman and hero to drugged out alcoholic loser celebrities everywhere for her treatment center in Rancho Mirage California. So accessible to all us regular alcoholic druggie losers. (Jeff Conaway apparently was more in the 'regular' loser status than celebrity since he had to settle for the Dr Drew show to try to get clean) There is a nice garden in Vail named for old Betty since she and Gerry Ford hung out up there a lot. Betty's maiden name was Bloomer. We just put that in there because we think it's funny.
And the death that is putting Katie Barry almost out of reach this year: Amy Winehouse! We had her on our list a couple years ago but it seemed Amy had gotten her shit together and she dropped off. Apparently no drugs or alcohol in her system when she died. A mystery is unfolding... here are some nice pictures of Amy after death. Or wait, maybe she's alive? We really just can't tell. Maybe just death warmed over? You decide.
Another British musician, Cuddley Dudley, died. He was known as the 'first black Rock n Roller from Britain'. Really? Not lookin' too 'rockin' in this picture.
We are embarrassed for Cuddley.
Hey - and what the hell is up with Zsa Zsa? Did she do a deal with Satan or something? We are thinking the husband (the pretend prince) has got her up in bedroom all made up but dead like the mother in Psycho. Here is a recent picture of Zsa Zsa.
And lastly is Bubba Smith, big ass NFL player best known for Miller Lite commercials and the Police Academy movies. We like him because he likes Miller Lite. Or at least sold it on TV.
A quick update on scoring:
Katie B 109
Barb 88
Tricia 88
Madeline 28
Sue 7
David 0
Carol 0
Patrick 0
Susan E 0
Carolyn 0