End of 2011 Death Pool Update

The end of 2011 is here! We waited until almost the last possible moment to post the update - we wanted to make sure all possible deaths were covered. What a year! If the standings hold Katie will barely beat Barb and Tricia. All three hit it big with pathetic Amy Winehouse and her alcohol induced death. And we thought she was doing so much better. Amy had us fooled.

Now to catch up on

the deaths since September:

Cliff Robertson - you all remember Cliff as Peter's uncle in Spiderman - but some of us remember Cliff from the Twilight Zone. Yes - Cliff was in a couple episodes. Here he is in one now with his little Navy friend. (we found it odd that the dummy was dressed as a sailor - use your imaginations)

Heidi the Opossum died! Yes! Heidi! Three years old - oh Heidi we hardl

y knew ye! Heidi resided in a Denmark zoo. This was big news in Denmark. They apparently really like their opossums there. Heidi has her own Facebook page: Heidi, das schielende opossum. Go Friend Heidi before she decomposes any more.

Anwar al -Awlaki and Samir Kahn both died in the same drone strike - Amercians turned terrorists. This has been a bad year for terrorists. Kind of strange that Carol has a whole list of obscure bad guys but fails to pick the ones that actually die! Ok, she did get Kim Jong Il but the rest of the list is a bunch of ex-Nazis and Jerry Lewis. We are still trying to figure out just what Jerry did to get on the old terrorist list. Why not have Gaddaffi on your list Carol? That's ok - no one did! How did we all miss that one?? We are contemplating making our list for 2012 comprised solely of middle eastern dictators. Here's a nice picture of Moammar (believe us - the best one without holes in his head). We like the headline best. (no - not the free milk from the booby chick)

So let's talk about some real losses this year: Steve Jobs - can we imagine our lives if he had never lived? Vaclav Havel (look him up) - leader of the Velvet Revolution in Czechoslovakia - then president of the Czech Republic when the Czechs and the Slovaks broke up (it was a friendly divorce), Joe Frazier - heavyweight champ of the world - best known for beating Ali's brain to the pulpy mass it is today (ok, that sounds bad but he did win a Gold medal for the US in the Olympics), Harry Morgan - best known as the sidekick of Jack Webb on Dragnet and as Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H* - well, he was mostly a good guy - did get arrested for beating up his elderly wife when he was 80 or so - And we will really miss George Daniels. Who is George Daniels you say? He was a Horologist. Anyone who is a Horologist gets a shout out in this blog.

Al Davis died!

Another one we've had on the list before - we always thought Al was too mean or demented to die but off Al went to that big end zone in the sky. Here's a picture of Al in his younger days putting a hex on the opposing team.

And, it seems the year left the best for last. Kim Jong Il - he was on our Death list more than once so of course he kicks it this year when we left him off. That seems to happen to us a lot. We had Amy Winehouse on our list last year too. The lesson here is to stay on our list and you will live. Here' a great picture of Il just relaxing on vacation - it's nice to think of old Il when he was happy and carefree while starving all the people in North Korea:

We have not yet been able to figure out just how Zsa Zsa is hanging on. We think she is really dead and her strange hu

sband, Prince whatever the hell his name is, has her preserved somewhere in the mansion so he can maintain that crazy Hollywood lifestyle he is accustomed to. We've been saving this clip for when Zsa Zsa gives up the ghost but we'll share it in anxious anticipation of the actual event:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEn8QdI8-24

And how is Billy Graham hanging on? And Etta James? And Jerry Lewis? (is there anything wrong with Jerry? Why does Carol hate him?)

All of us did get on the board with at least one death, except for David, Susan and Carolyn. Carolyn was so close - just one Dugger baby away from really racking up the points! Better luck next year! I'm sure another Dugger baby will come along. (sorry - kind of sick, but there are like 40 or 50 of them)

That's it poolers! Good luck in 2012!

It's been a long time! Did you think we died?? Hahahahahaha. Death jokes are fun.

We're going back all the way to April - time just flies when you are living the dream. April wasn't a big month celebrity death-wise. There was a Cuban flautist named Efrain Loyola. Just threw this in here for Katie, Madeline and Carolyn. No word if he was related to the saint. Also there was Edward Edwards (yes, seriously his name - no imagination there mom and dad) who was a serial killer. He only killed five people - does that really qualify for serial killer? Maybe mini-serial killer? Serial killer light? And they weren't really random. I kind of just think he was a scumbag loser kind of killer. Cheated the death chamber by dying of 'natural' causes. Whatever, we've all heard what goes down in prison. Or at least have watched on cable television.

Sidney Lumet died - best known for directing Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon (ATTICA! ATTICA!) and Network (I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!) Look it up - great lines from great movies.

But getting to the biggest headline in deaths - OSAMA BIN LADIN! Just when everyone took him off their lists because they thought he was already dead! What can we say about him? The worst person on Earth died! (not to be confused with the WORST PLACE ON EARTH which is apparently our attic) And apparently living in relative splendor in Pakistan (yes, that is splendor for Pakistan) growing his own goats for food and all the sex he could stand with new wives. Attached here is our favorite picture of Osama enjoying some NFL football. We heard they found his Fantasy Football picks on the confiscated computers. The CIA has a hell of a league going for this year.

Also killed was Abu, (no, not Apu) his loyal courier, who evidently unknowingly outed where Osama was living the high life.

More deaths in May: Jeff Conaway. Cannot believe no one has him on their lists! The guy was a walking death pool all by himself. So here's a contrast in Before and After that we should all learn to live by: no more crack, booze and heroin. It makes you ugly even when you try to cover it up with professional make up. Who is this guy you say? He played Kenickie in Grease!! And he was in the TV show, Taxi. Apparently he just couldn't live with the fact that John Travolta actually became more popular and famous than he did through Scientology.

And Randy Savage died too! Heart attack! You'd think a professional wrestler would have been in terrific shape! Oh, yeah. Professional wrestler.

Harmon Killebrew also died - he was a real athlete. Hall of Fame baseball player. Aunt Judy has a funny story about him but we will let her tell that one (no he didn't have a girlfriend on the side).

Moving on to June - Marshall Dillon died! He was 88. Again, most of you non-baby boomers won't know who he is. Actually his name was James Arness and he played Marshall Dillon on the TV show Gunsmoke for twenty years!. Back in the day, writers could actually come up with plots every week for 9 months a year over twenty years! James was the brother of Peter Graves, best known for playing the perv pilot in the movie, Airplane!.

Also dead in June was Shrek! Haha - totally got your attention with that one. No, not the cartoon Shrek who is not even a real live person, ogre, whatever. Shrek the celebrity sheep in New Zealand. Now we all know how Kiwis are kind of desparate for celebrities there. I mean, after Peter Jackson what have they got there? A picture of Shrek in tribute to sheep stardom. Kind of think Shrek is ugly. At the least needs a shave - but he's a star of a movie! WTF!

Also dead is George Ballas, inventor of the weed eater. (that one is for you, Hon)

Tired of death already? We've got July and August to go -

Betty Ford died - a few of us had old Betty on our lists. Good for us. She was 93 but looked 110. Betty was actually a very admirable woman and hero to drugged out alcoholic loser celebrities everywhere for her treatment center in Rancho Mirage California. So accessible to all us regular alcoholic druggie losers. (Jeff Conaway apparently was more in the 'regular' loser status than celebrity since he had to settle for the Dr Drew show to try to get clean) There is a nice garden in Vail named for old Betty since she and Gerry Ford hung out up there a lot. Betty's maiden name was Bloomer. We just put that in there because we think it's funny.

And the death that is putting Katie Barry almost out of reach this year: Amy Winehouse! We had her on our list a couple years ago but it seemed Amy had gotten her shit together and she dropped off. Apparently no drugs or alcohol in her system when she died. A mystery is unfolding... here are some nice pictures of Amy after death. Or wait, maybe she's alive? We really just can't tell. Maybe just death warmed over? You decide.

Another British musician, Cuddley Dudley, died. He was known as the 'first black Rock n Roller from Britain'. Really? Not lookin' too 'rockin' in this picture.

We are embarrassed for Cuddley.

Hey - and what the hell is up with Zsa Zsa? Did she do a deal with Satan or something? We are thinking the husband (the pretend prince) has got her up in bedroom all made up but dead like the mother in Psycho. Here is a recent picture of Zsa Zsa.

And lastly is Bubba Smith, big ass NFL player best known for Miller Lite commercials and the Police Academy movies. We like him because he likes Miller Lite. Or at least sold it on TV.

A quick update on scoring:

Katie B 109
Barb 88
Tricia 88
Madeline 28
Sue 7
David 0
Carol 0
Patrick 0
Susan E 0
Carolyn 0

First Update for 2011

It took until March but we have our first Death Pool points awarded! Madeline and Katie astutely chose Elizabeth Taylor, actress, femme fatale, activist, and professional husband hunter, died of congestive heart failure at age 79. Not bad for a boozing drug addict really - ok, Recovered boozing drug addict. Liz started out really beautiful but that didn't necessarily transition to her older years. (see picture Below right) She kind of went for the 'old, been ridden hard and put away wet' look. But apparently she was a nice person and good mother so we'll cut her a break on her fashion/make up/old cleavage hanging out faux pas. Ok, the picture at left here isn't really Liz being interviewed by Bill Murray on SNL - it's John Belushi - but Liz kind of resembled him at the time (she had 'water retention' issues. (ok, she was fat). I tried to find this clip on You Tube but no luck. She is eating fried chicken and starts choking. She gives herself the Heimlich and spits out a big chunk o'chicken onto her cleavage. Pretty funny at the time. Well, let's move on to other notable deaths since Jan 1. One of our favorite actors, Pete Postlewaite died at 64 of pancreatic cancer. Usually played a bad guy. Our favorite role was in The Name of the Father. Good movie - about wrongly accused Irish falsely imprisoned. Kind of the story of the Irish and the British, eh? Dr. Creep died! Horrors! So shocking! He was 69, had had a series of strokes or something recently but somehow was able to tough it out and attend the HorrorHound Weekend in Cincinnati as the guest of honor. Major shit for Cincinnati - HorrorHound Weekend - such a happening place. Where else in America but Cincinnati? Here is a recent picture of the Doctor. Jack LaLanne - super human exercise freak before being an exercise freak was considered hip. Best known for shackling his arms behind his back and swimming to Alcatraz pulling a towboat with his teeth. Why would he do this you ask? Because Jack was just a wacky nutty guy given to spur of the moment idiot ideas such as this. Apparently Jack thought it would inspire all us lazy ass slobs to do the same thing. Whatever, Jack. Just in case you don't believe me here is the photographic proof of his Herculean deed. I like the swimming cap - apparently to keep his crew-cutted hair out of his eyes - like he could actually see in the water in San Francisco Bay. Don Kirshner. Who is Don Kirshner you say? Our answer: Don Kirshner's Rock Concert on ABC - that's who! Yes, Don was big in the music business and ended up with a weekly TV show highlighting new musical acts in the U.S. Best known for managing the fake rock/pop groups, The Monkees and The Archies. http://www.hulu.com/watch/4148/saturday-night-live-rock-against-yeast. He was best known for organizing music stars for charity benefits - click on link above. Other notables:

• Sargent Shriver - founder of the Peace Corps


• John Paul Getty III - best known for being the grandson of gazillionaire John Paul Getty #1. Was kidnapped for ransom. Kidnappers cut his ear off before Grandpa finally coughed up the cash.


• Duke Snider - Hall of Fame center fielder for the Brooklyn/LA Dodgers


• Warren Christopher - former Secretary of State


• Zoogz Rift - musician AND professional wrestler - he made the blog because we enjoy his name and professions.

Bad News Brown - Canadian rapper and harmonica player. Are we more shocked that that Canada has rappers or that he was a rapping harmonica player? Poor Bad News was beaten and shot. No word if the shooter just wanted his snazzy jacket and hat (see picture below left)

Tura Satana - actress in B movies. Best known for playing Varla in Russ Meyer's sexploitation movie, "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" (see humorous movie poster, right) Another character in the movie was Vegetable, the dim witted son of the antagonist. Tura had quite a rack. Updates on our lists:

• Zsa Zsa - admitted to the hospital with high blood pressure due to worry that 'she is next' after hearing of Liz Taylor's death. Thinking it may be getting closer to 'the time' for Zsa Zsa.


• Charlie Sheen - still manically (is that a word?) crazy. No signs of slowing down. Hoping he makes it long enough to hire Katie as his intern.


• Dick Cheney - needing a heart transplant - need I say more?


• Carrot Top - still headlining in Vegas, although downgraded to the Luxor. Could be depressing for him...


• Al Davis - might not have anything to live for this fall - except hatred for the Players Union.


• Aretha Franklin - shrinking down to only obese from morbidly obese


• Andy Dick - still a dick


• Josie Duggar - thinking she's doing well since she made it through the winter.


• Pete Doherty - he'll never die


• Kirk Douglas - looked pretty spry on the Oscar telecast


• Fidel Castro - still giving interviews - the guy just can't shut up.


• Kim Jong Il - haven't seen the guy in a while - could be dead.

A special shout out to Carol and her long list of Nazis. The funny thing about Carol's list is that it's full of evil people except she's got Jerry Lewis in the list. Jerry is surrounded by Nazis and other terrorists. Is it his hair? Sock fetish? Incredibly fat and swollen face? Why Jerry, Carol? Why? Let's end today's blog on a classier note: Major Dick Winters, WWII veteran best known for commanding Company E of the 101st Airborne Division. Featured in a number of books, the best known being Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose. Major Winters was a war hero having been awarded the Distinguished Service Cross. The only reason he did not get awarded the Medal of Honor was that his Division had already had a Medal of Honor awardee and there was a quota system in place at the time. There is an effort in place in Congress to have the medal awarded to him posthumously. Let's hope they do the right thing. Here is a link if anyone would like to read up on Major Winters. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Winters/ That's it Poolers. Stay tuned for the next update - there are many just circling the drain....